The Femme Show and What Does it Mean to be an Ally?

This past weekend was the third Boston incarnation of the Femme Show. I've been participating in the Femme Show goodness since its first run back in 2007, when I was just attending as an artist-vendor. Upon arriving in the basement of the church where the performance was to take place, I felt an immediate sense of community--I helped move chairs, clean the stage, press buttons on machines, help move props... Even though I had just met this group of performers, we gelled immediately. Kinship, respect, validation... It was wonderful.

So, when I turned to my good friend Amy, and said "Lets bring the Femme Show to Portland," it was a natural next step in my mind. I wanted Portlanders to experience what I experienced. I wanted to share the art, the community, the passion of the Femme Show with Mainers.

The Femme Show is now a performance staple in Boston and Portland, with an increasing number of tours around the East Coast. This sort of slowly spreading Femme-Fire is really exciting to witness and be a part of.

I have to be entirely honest now: I have not, until this weekend, seen my participation in the Femme Show as anything but "what should be done." As in, I naturally aligned myself with the mission and purpose of the Show, and haven't really delved deeper into the implications of my involvement. As someone more masculinely expressed, as a Butch, what does it mean to me to participate? This question hasn't really come to my mind as anything except the occasional reminder to myself that it's really important to make sure, as a masculine person, to not take up too much space that is meant for the wonderful Femmes in my life.

But the definition of a true Ally is a lot more conscious than that. Right?

When the Artistic Director and Boston Producer of the Femme Show, Maggie Crowley, wrote me a lovely thank-you note that thanked me for being the "right kind of Femme ally" and then elaborated in-person about what it means to her to have such a clear, well-meaning ally involved, I started thinking deeper thoughts about the word.

To some degree, it's good that I didn't consciously have to "become" an ally. It was a natural concept. Just like I never had to "become" an ally for youth--I inherently believe that young people (specifically folks under the age of 18) deserve a platform for their passions, beliefs, and ideas... I feel the same way about my Femme counterparts.

Queer Femme gender is more than just a sexy concept/actuality to me. It is a delicious queering of that which is feminine. There are tons of critiques about what it means to wear heels, a skirt, make-up, or any combination of these things, etc... The difference, the major difference, between Femme and femme is the *conscious-decision-making* that goes into Queer Femme gender.

The Femmes in my life are *actively* thinking about the decisions around their gender. They *have* to. As queers (whatever that word may mean to who chooses it), we need to stop and consider all our movements through the world. The Femmes I know have taken this a step further, and actively re-engage in activities and genders that mainstream culture has tried to deem *not for us.* There is something radical, ground-breaking, and shattering to look the mainstream in the face and say, "No--this *is* mine. I shall *make* it mine."